Dentons Dillusions

There was once a guy name frank who stole a little money
Johnny law man slapped his wrist and told him That's not funny
so one could say he did remain ignorant of his crime
ignorance is bliss say you to i, my reply, not all the time.

It hit me. 500 B.c. and you're working out theorums which take generations to disrepute. you consider everything in numbers because musical notes work in scales and harmonies, shots (or pebbles) make up shapes which are just deriviatives of numbers and you're maybe starting to see the world in terms of atoms connected together as billions and billions of tiny numbers constructing what we know of as life.

Then i was considering the nature of words and letters, how do we understand words? i mean is it not almost exactly the same as we understand numbers just in a base of 26 and with a sound which represents a noise we recognise? similar to numbers really, except with numbers we can logically progress to an era of computers and with words we get treated to artists such as William Shakespear and Bill Hicks.

it took me to a socialogical arguement from Hebdige of subcultures, and his definition of art being the "truimph of signifier over signified" or something being expressed in a way which does need the subject in question to explain it. Although this doesn't seem in anyway revelational, it just made me consider that if most of our senses can be have a sythenised stimulation based on particular code systems (Binary on CD's, Alaphabet for reading, Even feel can be stimulated into communication through Brail) why the hell are we so lousey as a race at communicating?

I don't have a particular gripe about any particular system or person here, i just seem to notice a lack of enthusiasm towards communication about anything in anyway controversial. i mean ok, i have had a bit of a weird lifestyle, met a lot of people from a lot of various religions and pretty much come to realise that religons don't kill people, people kill people.

Any race, creed, sex or species has social characters and anti-social characters. Lone wolves, Homicidal maniacs or chavs. why base the actions of a select few who when allowing objective persepctive you can see that there are people just as bad, if not worse, that belong in a similar stereotype than you.

I mean, i thought it was rude when a french person looked down at their nose at me for not speaking their language when in france. But if she ran in to joe blogs on the streets of london speaking nothing but french i don't envy her the abuse she'd recieve.

but despite all of that i feel a desire in life to communicate some of thoughts. which now seems slightly duahgting as the questions of will it really matter begin to arrise.

thanks for your time anyway

tells me i can't do "it" in relation to anything i have yet to put my full attention into, i am going to snap!?!?

I've just watched Bowling For Columbine, a nice yet Aggravating (in a positive way) film about the policies of fear and guns within America. Now i like this film as it provides a lot of insight and a lot of information which seems well researched and at least provides the public opinion on a lot of matters which seem, in a lot of cases, to be poorly informed.

But there's a constant nagging in the back of my head as George Bush declares a "blanket alert" of "general fear" following the 20 fearful out brakes of killer bees or bubonic plague that just generally fucks me off.

Why is the mass media always trying to distinguish right from wrong and constantly contradicting nature, or at least trying to get us to fear it? If there is an epidemic of an incurable disease, yes it's supposed to inspire our minds into activity and maybe even further unite us as a species but it's still natural!!!

We're supposed to have challenges to over come and we're supposed to be balanced by a force more powerful than us (i.e. nature)

So why the fuck we let anyone with the same power as us dictate what we can and can not do is beyond me. I have limits i know this, i know i can't change the world and know that even IF i did there's still a sodding great universe on which i am a spot on a pimple on the small toe of something impossible for myself to understand. but why can't i hold my dreams and try and make them real? Why does it seem to insult people when you try and work out a way of making societies more tolerant and understanding? and why do people make it easier for you to forget you have flaws than to work towards something more worthwhile?

Example from when I was younger. my dad would let me borrow his things from time to time and on more than one occasion i was careless and as a result, i have occasionally broken items that i was borrowing from him. However (and this is commonplace throughout society I've found) in the event of something breaking i would be made to feel guilty, maybe some light punishment for my lack of respect, which is fair enough. But were i to lie, miss lead or wait until the issue was no longer at the forefront of his mind i could get away with my misdemeanors.

Now admittedly the only way to really control that sort of thing at the ages i was while this was an issue would be for my father to evolve into some form of super being with a flawless memory and perfect disciplinary tactics which is far fetched for anyone to aspire towards. But this seems to be reflected by our society. Punishments in school only effects people that want to be part of the system imposed by the school themselves. For someone who responds badly to it they are merely told they will not be allowed to function properly within "civil" society.

It is for this reason i resent anyone who has undergone the same system as i have telling me what i can and can't do. I can understand if i were trying to do it in a way which infringed on other peoples rights to exist, but as a lot of my work is theoretical at the moment needing much more research before i even attempt to try and put it into practice, I don't feel anyone has the right to remove my (or anyone elses) permission to work or learn.

Thank you for your time

Storytelling night at the ramsey churchy thing

I learnt that people that look boring are not nessecarily boring. they laugh at funny things if they are told awesomely, and they will even except myths of pastafarianism even while in a church proclaiming you should want to be a good sheep *-) or a loaf of bread. Christian posters are weird man.

anyway, me had cool night was good, and now i wanna write a creation myth of my own. hmmmmmm

New Series Of Flight Of The Conchord Has STARTED!?!!?!

and it's got got better with age. you need to check out their friends song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVoCJJFuS60

Being added to the list are Rahzel vs DJ Scribble - Mav vs Machine (Four Elements)

and www.Last.fm because that site's amazing, probably a bug but it gets to know your music tastes and you can share it with your mates...awesome idea!

this makes the list

4.Man Vs Machine
3.www.last.fm
2.Spaghetti Monster Retale
1.Cozy Powell - 1812 overture

Ranking Only slightly before the retelling of the spaghetti monster recreation myth. http://dmwcarol.livejournal.com/580232.html#cutid1

is this incredible drum solo by Cozy Powell which i would like to share with my friends. Tchaikovsky will never be the same :-D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0rMPFTlAfE&feature=related

Ok i know i rarely post to this, but i'm wicked hyper excited and had to tell people, this is the first tiem i've got versions of my songs available for all to hear so if you fancy having a listen to the kind of thing i'm doing at the moment visit http://www.myspace.com/dalewillistierney

criticism wished for as always

Hello peoples :-D how are we all today? good i hope?

I'm getting on really well here in Northampton, met buckets of people and keep meeting more, lots of be done. had our first assessed performance in creative musicianship which was really cool.

Our task was based around the Paganini song variations, and we had to do a variation upon it, how cool is that? it was loosing based on the Julian Llyod Webber rendition which you can see on youtube. and you might be able to hear our version at some point...i think my group were trying to get it done at the least :^) I'll keep you up to date with any details :-P

been fitting in incredibly well with people telling me i need to perform at jam nights already, the locals seem impressed :-D (what fools these mortals be) but I've met a lot of really cool people too, it's amazing how many people talk to you if you have a guitar or a printer *-)

oooh and after 3 weeks of studying popular music i have written a new song which exploits everything I've learnt so far manipulating it into something I'm interested in saying, so am going to be doing a lot of recording with my friend a few doors down.

essentially I'm making good connections and doing good things, impressing tutors by asking irritating questions (the philosophy teacher is gonna hate me soon i think he he he he he) and yeah just having good fun, learning some schtuff and heading off. cos i should probably get some of this work done on my day off :-P

Ok so i've been here a while now, took while out to get to rest with things, now about to have my first research session in an hour or so...so that should be cool.

for far i have had two visits from mum which have been awesome....although I'm afriad of drilling the whiteboard into my wall so might just have it as clutter for a while :-)

i have cooked many improvised meals and discovered i love it. have done a lot of philosophy lectures now and am getting annoyed at it because it seems to be splitting hairs for no reason...so i'm trying to write my own philosophy, and that's fun. been informed i must go to some jam nights and have seen a mate of mine gig, shouting bitch at the top of his voice. comedy legend *nods*

have met loads of people, all of them think I'm cool or crazy, some of them have realised it's a mixture.

i have purple hair now as well, which is pretty cool, they wanted to dye it pink, "sadly" Morrisons was out of pink, so i went for the next best thing. i have snapped hair with my ex now though, this could be considered weird....probably good she's in London :-P Anywho i'm gonna go to library soon because my alarm clock is bugging me, talk soo

P.s. if anyone is interested in reading my philosophy i got a chapter written so far.....help and advice is always appreciated :-):-P

OK so I'm pretty landed at the moment, my bed is comfy for which i would like to thank my wonderful little sister, she made it when i got here and i haven't had to do anything *loves having two king sized duvets* such a good purchase :-D:-D

been getting fairly drunk as of late, which i guess was expected but i don't think my stomachs happy bout it...might not drink for tonight give me some recovery time, then again i do still have a big bottle of Captain Morgans, and the wenches are gorgeous here :-P

so far have missed all fresher week lecture things, which i'm annoyed about, tried to make one today and got the information totally wrong...went to a room found out it was empty, had nop more information on me and the receptionist didn't know what was going on, so i turned round and went back to discovered i needed to just wait in the lobby till i was collected.

but I'm gonna email the dude apologise for missing it and see what went down cos it's only polite right?

Errrm, What else? I've enrolled, am now officially doing a modular degree? oh shit i just remembered i was supposed to fill out more paper work because my thing said popular music and my course title is Joint Honours or something....buggar *notes down in information so he doesn't forget it again*

oh and for my elective i picked Legal systems under law :-) seems to be a fundamental guide to law showing you how each system works *-) wonder how I'll use this information in years to comes *rubs hands together megalomaniacly*

errr, i mean.....fluffily *-) yeah that'll do :-S

i went to a beach party last night, and it was too cold to go in my actual beach wear (a well folded towel!) so all i did was take off my jacket...i was wearing tie die and jeans....it was blues, so's the beach.

well half of it, unless you're on an English beach then it's kinda Grey. but that was slightly compensated for by various stains and the general nature of tie die :-P (kidding bout the stains...chill)

anyway the point of this story was what kind of fucking idiot chooses to hold a beach party in the middle of frigging September? i was standing outside a shitty club for 30 minutes....now as i said i just took my jacket off, but there's dudes in Shorts and Sarongs and shit. ok they get points for dedication? but what's wrong with "dress up warm night?" "tea and crumpets night!" you all come dressed as your nan but you get a nice snack before you enter the venue? i don;t know anything? beach night! it's crazy!

anyway i'm gonna do some waching up and sort out my laundry cos the state of my room is starting to bug me.

peace out \/

Was pretty cool, i mean overall it was essentially a "you don;t need to worry folks" which i wasn't really going to do anyway, but the experiences have greatly helped me prepare.

I know i need some attempt and work on organisation because otherwise my brain is gonna explode.

had a mini lecture, practise ridiculous paced note taking, did a few presentations...was a l;ittle weird though because i was the only person really up for talking to everyong and i was probably the youngest person there...but was cool anyway...got to be a tart at people which is what i enjoy ;-D

the arguements session was pretty cool and i got told i've already started to mark other peoples work....which is weird cos when it came round to having to mark other peoples work i knew which one was better but lacked the patience to actually give it a grade. i guess that's good right? beiong capable of doing saaomething but affriad because it's someone elses work....maybe it is hard being a teacher after all.

i think i'm gonna stick to the educational part of my course as well. seems to be a combination of psychology, law and politics but directed at education....which is pretty much perfect because it means i'm learning little bits of many subjects to something which may become more relevant depending on my patiencce with performing.

not to mention that the mature students i met doing education course were really hot and i have the emotional depth of a puddle.

and it's a very small puddle i'm talking about.

one of those late night puddles you get after a drunk person has walked past a particularly advertising doorway after one too many.

think the main point of this weeks activities was to intensify everything so that when it actually comes to it we'll be able tyo cope without an issue, because there were many new ideas and phrases which have been introduced and will appparently become regular features of my next 3 years. so i feel a lot more aware of what is expected of me...and damn near enthused to get cracking...after freshers week of course....gotta get so hammemred i wake up in at least one of the many lakes that seem to be around here at least once before getting all boring :-P

there is a lot of moss in those things though, but then again the park is only 10 minutes away from a change of clothes so it shouldn't be too bad lol.

Back to ipswich for supplies and items of comfort tomorrow....i'm not sure whether i'm enjoying this as a copncept or that i'm gonna miss this place....seem to be leaving just as it's gonna pick up which is bloody typical, but that won't stop me rocking this joint out like Bob marley at a cannabis festival.

seem to have really started like my similies/metaphores (sucked at english, don;t really know the different and even if i did, i can;t be bothered to spend the time identifying which is which...sorry for any inconvienance)

anyway i'm gopnna jet now, so shall talk to you fine people soon

found ways to get drunk, my list of things i need is getting disturbing long, and i have run out of ways to get drunk, why do shops have to shut at such unreasonable hours.....or why haven;t i found a 24 hour place/night club yet.

maybe cos they're too expensive.

oh yeah found out my mate mike has internet access in his room, and we had a look round town and went into some elephant pub...yeah that's right elephant...just had to check, errr, there aren;t enough people to go searching and boredome is becoming an issue...but there are ways beyond it...... just haven't thought of them yet...give me time man!

anyway i got nothing else really to say so peace \/




oh wait, flapjacks...that seems like a good final word.

flapjacks :-D

I'm here! It's very here-ish. There aren't enough heres in the world in my opinion *-) *ponder* *-)

Anywho. er, well its took time to get here? That was kinda cool. I swear i didn't do it right though. I'm sat on a train, like any normal person, (well ok i had a guitar but sue me!) and some dude starts trying to persuade me out of university so i can be the bass player for some band.
Didn't say no obviously :-P he said they were signed and i got the right look or something, i swear scouters are all sleazy. probably not a good thing considering i wanna be in the spotlight. But they have record label money and it could be good for a giggle, i just don't know where sheffield is and also ain't leaving this course :-P maybe if i can work around shit.

So eventually i arrive in Northampton and the taxi takes me to "Park Campus" which means i'm not living in the place where my lectures are, but that's cool, more excuse for exercise. There's like no one around yet though, i'm a week early! Found an awesome park like 10 minutes away from my room and a shop meaning i could purchase beer to help me survive the week :-P. Well i say beer, it's more alcoholic piss (i.e. Stella) but it'll do to start off the standard of environment ;-).

What else? got directed to the laundry room three times before being able to find it...luckily i did this before having any laundry to carry so it wasn't really a fail :-P i learn some things :-P

I have no pillow which sucks, but met loads of people today and had a mini lecture, am not really sure how i'm going to cope with that style of learning, but i got time to practise right?

There are now two people in my flat, one of which i barely met before leaving to get here and the other is a guy from Colchester, doing Popular music and philosophy and is pretty cool... the first guy is someone, er someone who looks chinese? I think *-) not so good with accurate/inoffensive race descriptions.

Think it'll be better when i get back here next sunday with items and objects. a computer would be amazing right now, but i'm not sure why? I need to find somewhere i can meet people but all the places are closed cos i'm early :-( maybe i'll start randomly walking into buildings and talking to the first person i trip over *-) of course that means i'll probably end up talking to the brick wall outside for 20 minutes *-) maybe not ey?

Anywho i'm gonna try find something exciting to do. or failing that see if any of the local creatures are explosive with the addition of...err sand *-)

Didn't think that one through really did i?

If there were such a thing as an explosive allergy to sand they'd probably combust long before i got there.

maybe one day ey?

Anyway, i hope this satisfies your wishes of spyingness...or at least, that it didn't make you fall asleep at your desk and get a caution for snoring too loud during office hours.

If i get enough attention i might even try and make this a regular thing :-O

But i ain't promising....i got places to do and people to see.

Wait, scratch that, reverse it;-)

laters

Everything is going really well at the moment, i'm doing a lot of work to produce a show that will soon be in practise, i feel a lot better about everything and for the first time in a very long while things kinda make sense in my head.

i don't have a job yet but have been looking for one and got talking to the guy who manages the spread eagle but it's been closed for a while meaning i've had no way to follow up this job opportunity.

i have been playing a lot of guitar and have even started using a diary, found the best way to travel round always with noting material (thanks the makers for designing my jacket with top pockets.)

had a great weekend and learnt a few new songs that i'm enjoying playing, and have spent today mostly practising for a performance of my show tomorrow....EEP!

but it's gonna be with a small audience and probably only half of the planned night.

College is going well as well, am catching up with a lot of work and improving on things that i never thought i could and this is making feel feel generally cheerful.

will try and update this sometime soon, but until then peace \/

It's half term/Review week in my third year at Suffolk college (second year on this course) and i managed to miss my review date (oops)

i managed to arrive completely randomly on the Thursday though, to get a little bit of a bollocking, which raised some interesting points which i'd like to share with you all.

Now my punctuality has been slipping a little, mainly because i've been getting really bored in the classes, i know i should work on it more and i am, but anyway i knew this was an issue.

i want to feel a little more challeneged, and not really sure how to go about this, i spend most of my class time rather bored, and on the rare occasion having something to do (which i focus on and try to get completed) i spend most of my time listening to the tutors talk to the students or the students heckle the tutors, and then heckling the lot of them with my good friend Will.

i keep trying to find time to jam with the students and do the things that i want to do in the college, but usually find myself too tired and bored from the earlier lessons t manage to do the better parts.

hence a little bit the punctuality issues, i feel like if i swan in then i have more control of my time, and that i can do the things that need to be done, and take the time more seriously.

it's stupid really that in order for myself to feel more secure in a working environment i have to break rules which could have major repercussions.

tis why i need to work on it severely, any advice would be appreciated.

the next thing is the bit that shocked and kinda pissed me off actualy.

She tells me my work is deteriorating (the only thing I've fucked up recently is the intro to "Almost" by the blues brothers, where i got nervous and forgot the key of the solo (i had left my guitar at home because it's an acoustic and i always got moaned at when i plug it in because it feeds back. Also a person in my group who had a guitar wouldn't let me borrow it so i could practice, despite the number of times he steals mine to jam during lessons.)

i have actually started becoming a lot more nervous again recently, I'm hoping that'll improve now as I'm feeling a lot better, and have learnt some things about grounding myself which have vastly helped my singing and stage presence, am also spending a lot more time actually practising new things and old things, which is doing wonders for my confidence too (yay)

but she tells me this while handing my most recent piece of work back, which was a presentation that i received 3 distinctions for, while reissuing the same assignment just with modifications to make it easier,

honestly, why would i produce my best work if whenever i even put effort into something that no one else does i have to do it again just easier.

the new assignments have exactly the same criteria, which i've already got distinctions for, so already done.

it's soo frustrating,

OK, So I've been having a thought, I'm offering really cheap guitar lessons to anyone who wants them for the bargain price of £3 an hour + any traveling expenses.

anyone interested can contact me at denton_k_c@hotmail.com and we shall discuss it further

So yeah I'm back *waves to world*

I feel quite a lot better now it's over with, which is kind of hard to explain really.

I had a great time with Lauren, meeting loads of new people and doing random slightly crazy things, which included a hob-nob pully systems that talked to the floor above (you heard) and setting fire to a oven by attempting to cook bakery goods stolen from the local Frenchie (Which is a brand new term for anywhere that sells French baked goods)

I also met a LOT of very beautiful women while hanging out with Amelia, bought many cheap drinks and managed to raise enough money by busking to be able to afford the tube ticket home *rock on me*

This has developed into a newly found passion for busking. It was sooo much fun, and i made money, (Ok only about £4, but for 40 minutes work on a cold wet night in china town, that's pretty good.) I feel the need to learn more cheesey songs too so i can mix them with decent songs draw in a massive crowd and make shed loads of money, for doing something i truly love too.

Does anyone know how much a buskers licence actually is?

oh yeah i forgot to mention about the beautiful women from Lauren uni too hottest of which called Lucy, (I've been told they have names over the course of this weekend and that i should try and remember them to be respectful.....i know i was shocked too, never knew respect had anything to do with names myself.) i swear ugly university students don't exist, least in not in London, well least in the two parts i went to, or maybe it was just the frame of mind i was in *shrugs* who knows.

( The Story Of The Cool CO's )

Had a great time with Lauren and Amelia, and want to see them again as soon as i can because i miss them loads already (sad git i am)

may take a while though, stupid debt, got to do a CV delivery soon too as i haven't heard back from any of the ones i applied to last week *sigh* shall i try the same places again to show determination, or do i diversify completely and try and spread my search without reinforcing the older one?

could always go in and talk to the people see what's going on, but that seems like a little too much effort for a...."j" word, i don;t really want it, i just need the money

Ok, so i'm trying to do this again as it might help me get some degree of organisation or something, who knows? *looks shocked*

What's been happening with Dale i hear you ask? well i'll tell you.

Last week i had my most prized possession (my guitar) stolen from my room, by someone i know, and for god knows what reason i don't have the balls or confidence to do anything about it.

there's kind of a part of me still hoping it's not gone and that no one did this to me because everyone's shiny and lovely, which is total bollocks i know and basically provides me with a way of blaming myself and only myself for this happening and i have no idea why.

i want to kill the man, really i do, but instead i apologise for the accusation! what the fuck is wrong with me? why won't any part of my brain let me react? i keep telling myself i've not got enough proof, but i've got enough to be 95% sure who it was.

it feels like missing a limb or my soul it's horrible, and then to rub salt on it all, it's just magically fixed, i have a brand new guitar (well a £400 debt which i can't pay) no soul and no ability to do anything about it because the people who knew and care about me knew it needed replacing and loaned me the money, technically i have no reason to be upset right? i mean i have a guitar, what does it matter? but it's not MINE! least not yet, so far what's mine is a guitar which is probably long gone and a £400 debt and a giant fucking hole inside of me.

So the problem is "fixed" at least as far as everyone else is concerned, the only problem is Dale's are broken as a result.

Luckily for the entire week i had been planning to go to london to see my ex g/f lauren, and almost ex g/f Amelia and her b/f Liam.

It's been kinda fun, although to be honest i've felt like a nobody for the majority of the time here, getting told how great it is in the new london world, and how there is no reason to want to go back home ever unless it's really necessary.

also seeing a girl your still in love with flirt with people she says she doesn't like because they're not as great as me, but with the right amount of patience (she's gonna be there for like 5 years) and alcohol (we all know it's effects) will probably end up liking more than me, at least being more important in her life, is not exactly the best thing to do when feeling a gapping hole inside of you.

Having said that though i have had a great time, met a lot of cool new people (who i won't be able to see again untill i've cleared my £400 debt to jim and £60 debt to dad) had a really good time in london, and got to spend time with 2 of my favourite ever people, who somehow despite the shit i put myself through reguarding them or not, always make me feel like maybe i actually am worth something, (they are Lauren % Amelia *much loving sends*)

so yeah Dale's not at his best really, going back to Ipswich today as well, which is way too soon, but as anyone who's been to london can probably work out really quickly, it's not exactly the best place to be broke and i've already run out of time to try busking, damn laziness/university lifestyle of my friends :-P

Have also spent the weekend sharing a bed with the sexiest girl i know, and the words "no sex" ringing through my ears, so i may feel a little better after i've found a way to relieve some tension.

P.S, as a final question to anyone reading this. If you know you're worth it, you know you have the potential to do whatever, and tat you really matter to at least some people, how do you go about believing it in your day to day life, because i know it, and i always have, but i always seem to have this lack of connection with it, the people who love me seem to be the people i'm least myself with, or at least show more of the bad sides of my character and not enough of the good ones